PHQ-Nickname:
DarkEnchantress
Halfquake:
BlackEmpress
Level:
1
Total kills:
54
Birthday:
00th 0000
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| Mood: | tired |
| Type: | Diary entry |
| Added: | March 20th 2011, 19:02:02 |
| Visits: | 1340 |
| Rating: | 5/5 (Votes: 1) |
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Lately, I have been thinking about one thing.
Death.
I don't think about it to scare myself or torture myself in some way.
But I cannot deny that it has that sort of effect on me whenever it crosses my mind.
I do not think of ways how I could kill myself.
But rather than what things might steal the life in me.
Could it be old age?
An accident?
A tragedy?
Or sickness?
I do not amuse myself with such thoughts.
On the other hand it terrifies me.
More than I could've imagined.
I am not suicidal, but in the past I have thought of taking my own life.
But now, when I look back, I realize how much I have been thinking stupid things.
Death.
Why does it terrify me?
Why is it that when the thought crosses my mind every night before I sleep, I panic?
I distract myself and end up awake until the sun rises and morning came.
Is it maybe because I realized that this life now that I have is fragile.
I had accomplishments that made me want to push further into doing more, doing better.
Unconsciously, from the depths of my heart sprung forth 'a dream'.
I realized that Death has brought fear to my heart and at the same time, it made me become aware of the value and capacity of my own life, and those of others around me.
I do not want to live continuously in fear.
But by knowing what fear was, I learned how to cherish every second of this life.
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muddasheep
March 24th 2011, 13:49:56
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| I fear death as well, and ever since I've discovered this fear, I've lived my life a bit differently. I try out more different things, I stopped saying no to everything. That's the only thing you can do. Live your life, enjoy it! In the end, that's all that matters. |
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muddasheep
