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August 15th 1998

Living with bad habits (and feeling stuck in the long run)

Type:Diary entry
Added:February 15th 2020, 21:48:37
Series:[ Just my throughs ]
Rating:5/5 (Votes: 4)

Inspired by "Time is indeed a sadistic monster" from thebetahawk, i've decided to draw my own experiences in this text.

Throughout my life, I never had discipline, and that has caused many problems, I have even harmed the routine that I have always carried.

Just to give you a few examples, when I'm working on a song, and I want to add new arrangements to make it sound more melodic and rhythmic, I always have to be wasting time practicing in the fastest parts, giving me the idea if I should continue working or not, or giving me my time to do a practice session with exercises (i'm bad at organizing those exercise on a schedule).

I have also been carried away by my laziness, I hate to think that I have lost my time in video games (not that I am an extremist or anything like that, but that there are times when I want to play a game, or if I want to play r6, csgo with my friends), thinking that I could be taking advantage of it to take Deep Learning courses or learn a programming language (or even do katas).

This also applies to my daily routines:

I wake up guy 11:30 am and it takes me a long time to make breakfast, see incoming messages, make lunch, study, sleep in the afternoon (only if I feel very tired), study again, play video games or work on a song, go to the bed, watch videos or listen to music until I'm sleepy, and just there I can sleep.

In all these moments like this, I find it difficult if I can maintain a daily regime to take advantage of everything, which I know can be done, but I always say it in irony, and I end up wasting my time.

This isn't rocket science, since I finished studying at the university, and working on my thesis, I've stop worrying about time. Yes, i'm still managing to get my academic degree, and i'm not complaining either, I have wasted so many opportunities in my life, and I have wasted them more when I am close to reaching 25 yo, and still feeling frustrated, just because I do not organize my time better, if it weren't for that, I could have been another person with another story and another life.

But there's no time to waste...

Future doesn't exist, if you don't work for it.
I've stopped making excuses for everything.
And the most important thing is:
I feel happy now, doing the stuff i do...without wasting time.

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