PHQ-Nickname:
acetken
Halfquake:
Tektonic
Level:
1
Total kills:
0
Birthday:
February 17th 1982
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| Mood: | ^^ |
| Type: | Article |
| Added: | July 25th 2003, 11:08:40 |
| Visits: | 1248 |
| Series: | [ Articles from my website ] |
| Rating: | Not rated yet. |
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Allrighty, this is gonna be fun. What we have here is a list of 100 not entirely legal things that you can do so you can lead a happy, sex-filled life. Now take notes kiddies, this stuff is golden!
1. Make fun of an old person within earshot at least once, and they have to be over 60.
2. Jump from a plane. Parachute optional.
3. Jump from another plane. Clothing optional.
4. Hump a guy/girl who has passed out at a party and take incriminating photos.
5. Prank call the Kids Help Phone saying that you have turrets syndrome and have no fucking piss licking friends.
6. Wear a toga to a fancy restaurant and claim that you are Caesar. Make them give you free food or be banished from the Roman Empire.
7. Wander around La Senza for a full day claiming that you are "just looking." Demand salespeople to try things on.
8. Follow behind a cop car all day, claiming that you are "just looking." Whenever he gets out, wolf whistle.
9. Dance disco at a bar during a rap song.
10. Remove all your body hair and leave it in someone's wallet/purse.
11. Take a hitchhiker 2 blocks and drop him/her off.
12. Rearrange all the G.I. Joe's at a store to reenact Custer's last stand.
13. Make a "Snowman Sex Museum" in your neighbor's yard.
14. Beat Scott with a rolled up newspaper.
15. Beat Scott with a golf club.
16. Beat Scott with... fuck it, just beat Scott.
17. Order a lap dance, but when she gets there, ask to just cuddle.
18. Pick a fight with a midget.
19. Lose.
20. Leave random amounts of porno mags in pediatric waiting rooms.
21. Drive in December with the top down, and in swimming trunks.
22. Sell your soul to Satan for a good BLT.
23. Spontaneously become a nudist.
24. Make people go to goatse.cx.
25. Invent a sexual position and name it after the page. (That's right, the Insult To Injury. Sounds great, eh?)
26. Send an e-mail to the Queen claiming to be her long lost illegitimate child.
27. Wear a diaper to the bar.
28. Go to Safeway and insist on buying only one item at a time.
29. When you get a telephone sales person calling you, tell them they have to join your cult first.
30. Make fake business cards and pass them out.
31. Become a porn star and distribute the tape.
32. Wrestle an alligator. If he bites, insist it's an illegal tactic and that you win by default.
33. Go out as the Crocodile Hunter and randomly stalk stuff.
34. Open a breast examination office in your living room and offer a two-for-one deal.
35. Start a band and become your own groupie.
36. Go to the leisure center and build a castle from the kid's foamie devices.
37. Annex your own island and declare war on the USA.
38. Get arrested for a penis related crime.
39. Rent a hooker and make her paint your house. Tell her it gets you off.
40. Pr0n.
41. Tell your significant other that you want them to dress as a Teletubby during sex.
42. Go to the mall just to swim in the fountain.
43. Start a lynch mob.
44. Start a revolution about pants.
45. Make a bomb out of duct tape and toothpaste.
46. Poke a sleeping bear with a stick.
47. Make barnyard sounds during sex.
48. Convince some Mormons that you're the devil.
49. Request New Kids On The Block every hour of every day until the radio will play it then call in and complain about it.
50. Refuse to sleep for a week.
52. Pay some bills with small coins only.
53. Write something on someone's lawn with fire.
54. Cause a natural disaster.
55. Beat Scott again for good measure.
56. Cover yourself with peanut butter and run up and down the street until arrested or eaten.
57. Lick fruit at Safeway until kicked out.
58. Cause all the toys that make noise to go off at the same time.
59. Play tackle football in the Wal-Mart clothing section.
60. Make out with a mannequin. Groping is encouraged.
61. Find out which number on this list that I deleted.
62. Go to the bowling alley and throw yourself down the lane. Tell them it's extreme bowling.
63. Go to the Bingo hall just to pick up chicks.
64. Become the leader of your own political party.
65. Use something from Me + You = Sex as a pick up line.
66. Have a threesome. No, you and both your hands don't count.
67. Take photographic evidence of said threesome and sell on EBay.
68. Sell your soul on EBay.
69. Sell Scott on EBay.
70. Start a petition to shut off the sun.
71. Rearrange price stickers on everything.
72. Test drive every vehicle at a dealership.
73. Write complaint letters to companies and demand free samples.
74. Go down a skiing hill in a large cardboard box.
75. Get someone caught in an escalator.
76. Moon on a live tv broadcast.
77. Make your own alcohol.
78. Ride in an ambulance and play with the siren.
79. Put out of order signs on elevators.
80. Ride on the same bus all day staring straight at the driver. Bring a lunch and keep staring.
81. "Accidentally" sit on strangers. Do it multiple times to the same person.
82. Go to church to get exorcised. Go in a sweatsuit.
83. Proclaim to the world that you have caught all the Pokemon, and are holding them for ransom.
84. Kidnap yourself.
85. Sit by lamp posts and point your blow dryer at passing cars.
86. Demand samples of everything on a menu before ordering.
87. Sit at EB and play the games all day, growl when someone gets too close.
88. Fly a helicopter, with or without permission.
89. Take candy from a small child and eat it in front of them.
90. Shoot random objects out of a potato gun.
91. Drop tampons off a bridge onto cars.
92. Follow strangers around and ask "When's the show gonna start?!" every 5 minutes.
93. Stalk yourself.
94. Tell a girl all the 101 big dick jokes by Drew Carry and claim that they are all true about you.
95. Pretend that you're Burnbomb and melt random parts of your CPU.
96. Pretend you're Scott and get your ass beat by all your friends.
97. Sneak the word "meow" into sentences.
98. Wrestle a stuffed animal in the mall telling people to stay back from the dangerous creature.
99. Pretend to win the lotto and fake a heart attack. See who steals your ticket.
100. Go through a drive through every 10 minutes and ask for water.
There you have it, do all that, and you can say that you lived a full life, and at the slim chance any of you people do anything on this list, tell us about it on the forum, stories are nice... I'm so lonely... |
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