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I'm happy when it rains
I'm happy when it rains

My texts (9)
My series (4)


Dollhouse Party


Total kills:

November 08th 1984


Kirill Illenseer (former: Kirill Zamasanskij)

My birthday is 8th November 1984, calculate a bit.

Lörrach, Germany

A mixture of German, Russian, Polish, Kazakhstan (I think, that was it)

A sister, 10 years younger than me. She sometimes ignores my age and my advice, being the older brother, but she's cool.

Favorite color:
A dark deep blue. Dark grey to black also, but they aren't really colors.

5 favorite movies:
Fight Club
Heavy Metal 2000
Army of the darkness

5 favorite musicians:
Ace of base

5 favorite songs:
Nightwish - Bare grade misery
Muddasheep - Halfquake (Intro)
NinNightwish - Sacrament of wilderness
Nightwish - bless the child
Muddasheep - Somos

5 favorite books?:
Book NOD
Books from Lovecraft

Is the glass half empty or half full?

Is America too full of itself?
Well, what is America? Some citizens are cool (for example Legion). But the government is really a catastrophe.

Favorite animals:
Of course cats. But when I was a child, I wanted to be a squirrel. And I like scorpions.

Loner or social type?
Well, living completely without human contact sucks. But being with friends, I don't have a strong wish to become the middle of the group or something. I enjoy sitting together, but I don't always need a talk.

Part of any cliques?
PHQ, some people know me and I'm really proud of it. Then, part of a LARP-group. I think, that's all (the gaming clan is not really a community).

Drug use?:
Alcohol sometimes. Marijuana, if I'm offered some.

Loneliness sucks, doesn't it? And I am lonely. I have a love, but she has enough problems with herself.

Are you insane?
Erm, hard to say. Some people don't understand my thougts when I tell them and some people don't even understand what I say to them, because they can't imagine that someone would say such a thing. Also, I have several personalities in me. But as for me, I'm normal.

Worst fears:
I don't want to have a violent death. Also, I don't want to die without having said "Goodbye" to all the people I like.
"Boring", I hear you saying? "He fears the good old death, nothing new." Well. I think alot about death, I don't think about other things. For example, it's very unlikely that I won't make something of me. I'm very lazy, but I seem to have enough brain to be successful (at school, for example).

Life goal:
Life goal... When dying, I want to look back at a good life. I want to pass through the school exam, stury, get a nice job. I'd like to have a family (I only think, that I'm very unlikely to get a girlfriend). I also want to have some fun. But this is more a daily aim.

Greatest moment in history:
My birth. To be honest, the day which divided religion and the government into 2 institutions.

Worst moment in history:
Christian religion began to rule Europe.

Did you notice my seriousness against the christian religion? Well, I'm a realist and I always look for logic. I'm even tolerant, really. But in school, children learn religion as the truth. Since they can't determine what's truth and what's not, they really believe the stuff, that's the problem, in my opition.
My childhood was also religious. But, taking a closer look, I found out that the stuff can't be true. So why should I believe in something that's not true? Religions are good to learn about ourselves, but are never really true. I only believe in things I know are true, nothing else.

Career goals:
Physics, probably invent a cool device.

Do you believe in fate?
To make it short: no. I believe in free decisions and chance. Once again: there's no proof. Yes, sometimes I'm happy that something happened and I can't imagine my life without this event or I can't understand why that shit happened to me. But if this didn't happen, I won't think about it.
Also, I can live well without a fate. But in nature, a law that exists has an influence. But I can live well without thinking about fate, so it can't exist.
Did I already say, that I'm a realist?

Is the world a great place?
Yo, why not. Our earth is not great, don't tell me, I have to be happy since I can live on it. If it'd be different, my body would be different.
The other world, the society, is probably not bad. The problem is always, that people, who don't really understand my problems, make decisions I have to live with.
But in my small world, life's ok.

Favorite quote:
"Not those are dangerous who don't know what they're doing, but those, who don't know, but are sure to know what they're doing."
"A successles guru believes in his bible and tries to make others believe. A successful guru changes his bible and tells it others".
"I have a very big problem with my laziness. But I am too lazy to do something against that."
"My belief is not to know things I believe in but only to believe in things, when I know them."

What brought you here?
I loved halfquake and I wanted to play a nice browser game.
If I didn't notice halfquake and didn't register to PHQ, if I didn't write in forum and (erm, whatever, I can't remember), I didn't met some cool people. Well, the fate-thing again.

What i'd do to change the world if i could?
Change the education during the very early life to prevent assholes in the world (I won't tell you who I'm thinking about). The other problems would get solved by the new (good) people.

The thing you hate most about the world:
Politics. People with no knowledge of my life make decisions. But this is only an example. Everywhere, people with less knowledge have power.
Also, people can't often behave the natural way. People are animals and the human body and mind were optimized for special tasks and behaviour. In the society, we often have to behave the opposite way.

The things you like most about the world:
I don't know what to tell. Many things I like are brought me by people. But I know them (some even personally), so for me, they've left the undefined "world".

Total Personal Pages: 225 - Total series: 116 - Total texts: 874
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