PHQ-Nickname:
SonOfMan
Halfquake:
Screaming Deth
Level:
40
Total kills:
3,688,748
Birthday:
September 01st 1974
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| Filth & Fetish Inside and Out: 3 |
I made it as far as the square lounge area without death creeping up on me. My greatest fear was to to die here, far from my Institute and the money that would pay for the life cell. How I hated the life cell when it was there, how I longed to be close to it now that I was here. I longed for those moments afterward when dizziness and a vomiting stomach where the only sensations. When I came to the corridor with the mens room door in it I tried the other doors to see what lay behind them. They were locked so I went into the mens room and lit up another Marley. I smoked it down and then washed my hands. I stood there thinking about that secretary, maybe now was the time to act. Perhaps now was the time to satisfy my curiosity. Leaning over the sink I looked down into the drain and imagined the smell of her and the touch of her hair and skin against my scarred cheek, against my blistered hands. My pulse quickened and I decided it was now or never. Why wait? She would be mine for today, for some minutes and ultimately as she exhaled her last, she would be the creature that wanted to fight me and lose. She would lose to me out of love for me, love for violence and hate of the world. I could almost feel her here in the room with me now.
My blood pulsing, I turned into the corridor letting the door swing closed behind me. I turned the corner and walked quickly through the door into reception. I could not stop my legs, my momentum carried me forward and I found myself at the end of reception closest to the exit. I stood there looking at the empty chair behind the desk not knowing what to do. She was not here, where had she gone? Flustered, I left and walked out into the street and kept walking under the black sky, my lust turning quickly into rage and despair. I looked around at the other people here and despised them for their existence. If somebody would challenge me now, give me reason, I would tear them apart with my bare hands and wash myself in their blood. Now my life was again empty and without meaning. All I could do was to return to my Institute and hope that the contract I held was not going to cause me any trouble. I began to sweat. A fresh flow of moisture seemed to activate the dormant odour in my rags and I caught the full measure of the stench. I felt revulsion. Both inside and out I was a rotten failure. Here I was, not any Victim but one of the Chosen, I had the chance to commit a great sin and I allowed it to go unrealized. I would never succeed at being my own master, in fact I would probably die fighting a Dragon because I was too stupid to pay enough attention at some critical time.
As I stood there with the energy of hate and anger boiling within me an APV cruised up beside me and the door clicked to unlock. I got in and sat in my place on the floor at the feet of my Master. He took from me the contract and read through it in silence. Music played in the car, there was a cello and a woman said "I used to understand happy, I know that I used to be happy, I was really happy, I'm unhappy now and I can't remember what it was like to be happy, I only remember ... I don't remember." There was more cello and then some drums. The woman sounded sad. I knew the song, I had heard it many times when I had been in the presence of my master, it was called Ketsarku Mozgalom. As I listened I thought to myself: had any emotions left other than rage I might find beauty in this.
It was at this time it occurred to me that the secretary had probably been behind the door to the copy room. Or in the room marked ladies waiting for me and right now she might be sitting there, lust depreciating, mourning my departure. I stared at the floor and let the motion of the vehicle take me, my rage refused to subside and my arms, chest and head felt close to exploding. I tensed and and relaxed my muscles in turns as the vehicle moved on.
If you like this and want to continue it then maybe we can write a PHQ(esque) story with the whole community contributing (?). Message me here if you want to write the next bit or if you know what comes next and want me to write it for you using your ideas. You can also message me with abuse and insults if you think this is shit and that's what takes your fancy, I'm open to that too! |
muddasheep
June 06th 2009, 21:53:16
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| This is simply amazing, I'm in awe! I've never thought of writing a story from the point of view of a Chosen Victim, and reading your story I feel that this is just what it would and should be like. Well done, sir! |
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muddasheep
