PHQ-Nickname: Wolfsbane
Halfquake: The Chamber
Level: 1
Total kills: 64
Birthday: 00th 0000
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9-21-03 Some stuff...need to think |
Mood: | neutral |
Type: | Diary entry |
Added: | September 22nd 2003, 02:29:10 |
Visits: | 1363 |
Series: | [ Amy's Journals... ] |
Rating: | Not rated yet. |
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I need something deep to think about. I mean, I have my thoughts naturally, but I yearn for something that will make me think. I have my normal thoughts and my not so normal thoughts. I hae issues in my mind which will plague me for quite a while. Things I cannot yet tell Rick for it would hurt him to the deepest extent. And by not telling him, I feel guilty. But I know when I do tell him, it will crush him so much. Hell, I might as well just rip out his heart instead of telling him. He will be mad at himself when I tell him. Which sucks ass. I need to write it down somewhere, let it all out. I need to get this out. I think I'll write it somewhere on here, in a private journal somewhere. But I need to get this out...and when I know I can tell others, I will make it not private. But GOD DAMN. It hurts so bad, it really does. It hurts more than anything has for SO long. Wow, I think this hurts as much as when my uncle died, and it makes me want to go cry in my room like the little bitch that I feel like right now. I just feel like nothing. As someone I hold so dear to me just reacently said, "YOU'RE PATHETIC!" And that I am, I am pathetic. You were right when you said that. Why? You do not know what I ask when I say "Why?" But, oh well. I must be off to go think some more.
~Amy |
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