PHQ-Nickname:
Legion
Halfquake:
The Asylum
Level:
10
Total kills:
60,346
Birthday:
June 22nd 1984
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| 3-6-04 What my friends think and what I think |
| Mood: | depressive |
| Type: | Diary entry |
| Added: | March 06th 2004, 10:18:49 |
| Visits: | 1218 |
| Series: | [ A love life now lost ] |
| Rating: | Not rated yet. |
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Description:
A train of thought I've been trying to get out of my head for the last 4 months...and here it is. |
I have 3 or 4 friends in total. They mean the world to me and when I've been lost without a clue they've been able to keep me on a straight path. I love them so much and they don't know it...but they sometimes get protective of me. And sometimes they advice me things I just don't understand or somethings I try so hard to grasp why they said it...
More specifically...my darling dear, Amy.
She's been someone I want to make decisions on my own on with. Everytime I seem to second guess her with a friend's opinion...something bad happens and I find out I should of listened to my gut instinct.
Its become odd because now my friends have sort of seperated into two factions.
Dave: He really likes Amy and says she honestly thinks she makes me happy. He told me he'd go to great lengths to keep us together and truly believes we are a potential forever couple as long as we can have patience. Having so much faith in her means the world because he was so doubtful at first...and so far everytime he's made an assumption about someone I know...he's been right...but then again...he did suggest something completely and totally wrong about her 3 months ago...but nevertheless.
Greg: Got a letter back from my military inclined friend, he sends his best wishes and is okay. Apparently, the rumor about him being hurt seriously was about new friend, Scott, in basic training, a long story. But he sent his regards and advised me to stay with Amy at all costs, not just as my friend of 8 years but as a good business man and someone highly trained in military services. *HAHAHA...I can't believe I just said that...him...military...it still gets me everytime*...but he honestly thinks she's she's great for me because "She puts a smile on your face man that I haven't seen since you got your first kiss during truth or dare."
oh and Sara: She totally thinks I'm head over heels in love and keeps telling me to go for it heh...
But...then I have one voice of not so reason:
Carrie: She thinks Amy is a great girl but is putting me through pain and pointless drama that I shouldn't have to endure. Though, Carrie's life is full of drama so her judgement has been impaired...one week she was in a great mood, getting laid, had a job, and was getting smoked up everyday...my darling dear was the best thing since sliced bread. Next week, got fired, room mates were being morons, and lost the guy/girl...everyone sucked. Including me.
But anyway...here is the kicker.
Guess what.
I don't give a flying fuck about what ANY of them think about my relationship. I love them and they are very wonderful for being so wonderful, concerned, and caring but...
This is our relationship, hers and mine, I am sick and tired of people like Carrie and Jon, no offense to them though, trying to dictate who I should go out with and who is out to get me.
Dave, Sara, and Greg, great that they support this and I'm really happy they see it my way...*sigh*...
I want to make my own decisions and I plan to...I just wish those two would stop telling me the things they say...they make it sound like she's only out to hurt me and nothing good can come of it...*sigh*...
Dave, for the most part, spoke my mind.
He saw what I went through with Marianne and he was just concerned that it might happen again...but he tells me he that if I think its love and if I really trust her then go for it. If I feel it deep down inside, that is how its supposed to be.
And thats what I feel. And I will never let anyone else but Amy herself change my mind.
Sincerely,
Rick
P.S. Its nice to have a mind of my own...feels...free heh |
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