PHQ-Nickname:
Legion
Halfquake:
The Asylum
Level:
10
Total kills:
60,346
Birthday:
June 22nd 1984
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| 03-09-04 Let me live my damn life I say! |
My sister was born when the planets were misaligned. I think she's afraid she'll void her warranty if she thinks too much.
And her boyfriend? Let me not go there. He's a couplet short of a sonnet. Dropped on his head as a kid? Try bounced.
After listening to my mother's lecture I have just got a new theory of eternity. She was trying to dictate new terms of my life...saying it'd be better if I just let Emily do whatever she wants. If I'm not in her way and just let her run amuck she won't give me problems or make up anymore stories. I looked at her and said, "You are starting to sound reasonable. It's time to increase my medication."
The day before my sister tried telling me what I should do in order to keep her happy. Of course I detected that kind of glaring logical inconsistencies in her 'reasonings' that only botched frontal lobotomy patients with crisscrossed shoelace scars on their sloped foreheads are capable of making.
A quote was given to me today:
When a true genius appears in this world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.
- Jonathan Swift
Basically telling me sometimes...when your the only one making sense...everyone around you will try to butcher that sense sometimes.
*sigh*...
Chandler: I had this dream about my life but I don't really want to talk about it.
Joey: What if Martin Luther King Jr said that? "I have a dream!...But I really don't want to talk about it."
Thats how I feel right now...I have a dream which I call my life...but I am not allowed to live it. My friend Jon was complaining and so was Carrie...that I was so closed off...so was my friend Ak. I care about them all so very much...but they don't get the fact that they are trying to run damn life. Yes, my life, not theirs. I appreciate the advice, thank you but don't force it on me. Alright?
"Become a chef, you'd be good at that."
"Run your own restaurant."
"Start a club!"
"Smoke weed with us, it'll make you happy!"
"Break up with Amy."
"Beat the hell out of your sister."
"Join the military."
"Stop crying when bad things happen."
"Stop writing poetry, its useless to you."
"Being an artist won't make any money."
"Helping animals? That won't get you far in life at all because no one cares!"
All quotes said to me. I don't want to do drugs anymore, I don't want to break up with Amy, I don't want to be in the military, I want to help animals, I want to draw, I like writing poetry, a club will not make my problems go away, and my dream isn't to run a restaurant or be a chef. And lastly, violence never solves anything.
Amy, at one time, said I was controlling her life...and I didn't understand it at all until just recently. Now I have the world trying to control me...and I hate it! And even worse, people all the sudden get amazed that "OH MY GOD! He doesn't want to talk to us anymore!" When people DO try to control my life. My mother, of all people, wonders why I now reside in my basement more than ever instead of being out with Carrie or Jon, like I usually do. She didn't understand why for the first time I actually asked Ak politely to be a bit lesser on the ideas.
*sigh* My life is just being run by everyone else and not me...and I want it to be me.
Awhile ago I decided that I'd give my darling dear space...so she could do what she wanted...to show her I had respect...what I didn't realize was that it seemed that everyone was trying to run her life...among other things...I guess I was being like that too...Which is probably why she ran from me too.
Now I understand...and I wish I had seen this sooner.
But...anyway...I'm going to try and be a helluva alot more understanding...and try to explain this to my friends (about myself)...and hope things change...hope they will understand.
Sincerely,
Legion |
March 16th 2004, 12:39:26
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Legoin,
Maybe some advice. Everyone will ALWAYS try to run your life. It's inevitable. Just make sure when it gets too rough, that you just hide in yourself for some time. If that doesn't work...then damn. Heh. It works for me...I just thought I'd suggest it... |
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