PHQ-Nickname:
Wolfsbane
Halfquake:
The Chamber
Level:
1
Total kills:
64
Birthday:
00th 0000
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| Mood: | depressive |
| Type: | Diary entry |
| Added: | March 27th 2004, 03:51:53 |
| Visits: | 1288 |
| Series: | [ Amy's Journals... ] |
| Rating: | Not rated yet. |
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Well, here I sit, typing my life into cyberspace. Woopdy fucking doo. Yeah, I'm a bit of a bitch today. My day has been destroyed. I can't stop hallucinating. I keep seeing blood pouring out of EVERYTHING. Not only blood, but colorful orbs. And people. They're just everywhere. All of it, just everywhere.
So, I will type my life away in cyberspace. Hello cyberspace. Wanna be my new friend cyberspace? I have pretty much no friends left. I have a few, but the rest, I don't trust or have turned on me, and one of them died.
Why do people worry so much? I don't understand it. I'm nothing at all to worry about. My friend keeps worrying about me when my mood goes from normal to really down in an instant. I try telling him it's nothing, but he still worries. Silly kid. I don't understand why people have to worry about me. It seriously pisses me off. I'm nothing to worry about. I don't really matter to them.
I've been consumed by my mind. The sadness in my head has consumed me again. Now that I don't have to pretend to be happy. I feel back to what I used to consider normal. Except, with a lot more pain now. More pain, more betrayal, less care. All anger I have gets turned into sadness. Life is back to normal.
Darkness is gone from my mind. He's still around. I just don't know where.
I'm being hunted/stalked still. They're still in my head. My head is all confused. I seriously can't function. Between that and Benji's death, my mind is SHOT to SHIT. I just can't focus anymore. I can't think happy. It feels like it's been months since he died, and it's not even 14 days yet.
I want to cry but I can't. Damn upbringing. Can't cry cuz it makes me weak. I know full grown adult men that cry more than I do.
I look at my arm, and I see slashes and cuts pouring blood. But, I know they aren't there. I'm stained with my own blood. I can see it. I can feel it. But it's not there. It seems I'm leaving a blood trail. No one sees it but me. I'm bleeding everywhere. It's a wonder that no one else can see it. It's just everywhere.
FUCK. They're here again. Gotta go. No more writing. |
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