PHQ-Nickname:
Legion
Halfquake:
The Asylum
Level:
10
Total kills:
60,346
Birthday:
June 22nd 1984
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| Surrounded By Cowards/Insationable Desires |
| Mood: | apocalyptic |
| Type: | Diary entry |
| Added: | September 16th 2004, 09:05:52 |
| Visits: | 1320 |
| Series: | [ The life and times of Legion ] |
| Rating: | Not rated yet. |
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Description:
For once...I'm not ranting, I make sense! |
Its been some very long time...since I've decided to just...write in this thing.
I feel like I'm surrounded by cowards...everyone wants to talk but no one wants to do. People will run to authority figures, friends, and mom/dad...but no one will deal with things...themselves...
Belive it or not I'm refering to my sister...but I could relate that to a few others.
What is so fucking hard about just sitting down and just...talking with someone...or just getting something settled honestly...why go out and destroy someone's stuff or tell them you hate them...and never want to talk tot hem again...just get it fucking over with, ya know? Means I can get her to pay for my stuff...and I can get my sister back now that Frank is almost out of the picture...
Never in my life have I walked away...ran away from someone...just because I didn't like them. I either stayed until I fought them...or made them my friend....or lastly...found a medium ground...something straight down the line... "Men are from Earth, Women are from Earth...Deal with it." - Found on a bumper sticker...one of my favorites...next to...BORN AGAIN PAGAN!...that and "JESUS SAVES!...But Gretzky gets the rebound and scores!" *sigh*...What the hell am I doing? I'm finally living the life I wanted...as recommended by someone Ionce knew...but now a new problem arises...
As of recent I've been filled with a need which I have not been able to satisfy.
I remember speaking with the one known as Shiro about how sometimes you are filled with insationable needs and you cannot explain them. Which reminds me...I have to re-read this in order to remind myself to mention something about her later on.
I've tried filling it with other things...girls, money, possessions, late night partying with friends, even getting into a bit of trouble here and there...so far three nights in a row...one to Hell's Gates, The Ladd School (Porn Room as well), and finally this woody area in Narragansett Brandon showed us...
First I thought maybe I wasn't getting enough sex...so...I ended up doing that 6 or 7 times...in one day...nada. Thought maybe I was unsatisfied with my present mate...so a few girls whom have been interested in me for the last month or so....I began talking with them nearly having about 4 different opportunities... I found out my loyalties still lie within Leigh and I pushed them all away.
Finally, I went on a complete spree of buying things...clothes...new hair colour...hair cut...new bondage equipment...stuff for the new band...food...Once again...I was still desiring something else...unsatisfied. I feel like there is something missing...something that was supposed to have happened...but hasn't yet...or I was supposed to get something...but its not there yet. Keyword: Yet. It'll happen. Believe me, my determination is strong. I have an idea of what it is...and it could be some kind of unfinished/unsettled business...which I'm gonna attend to immediately and then see what happens.
Most of my own friends agree with me that you must finish what you start...and sadly since I have no other way of talking with my darling ex...I must go through 3rd parties...
Its nearly impossible to try and consistantly get in touch with someone through a third party without that 3rd party either getting A: Annoyed B: Resenting you for it or C: Just getting tired of it all. And honestly...I'm getting tired myself...I'm nearly ready to send some of my own emessaries to do the talking. To quote that dude from that Steven King Movie...Can't remember...its like "Before the Storm" or something..."Give me what I want...and I'll go away." You'd think this would encourage things but no...it encourages lust...bloodlust...
Walking down the streets of Warwick, I was attacked by some guy with a sissy pocket knife, short hair, a southpole hat/pants and timberland shoes who apparently knew someone who doesn't like me...Gee I WONDER WHO THAT WAS...anyway...it ended very quickly where I put his wide shirt (Jersey) over his head and beat him senseless until he couldn't walk. Now, I have this scar...a straight line down my forehead across my eye....lucky the fucker didn't blind me. I yelled at Tim and Josh for just standing there and watching...lol
Martial Artist Legion: 1 Random Wigger: 0
Rick-am Ruck-om ruck-om get that ball and really fight!
NEXT!...I'm working...again...FINALLY...A JOB! AH HAH! Which incur a change or two...seems a lot of changes have been going on...Changes...good song!...But...yeah....So much to do...so little time...*sigh*...Gotta sleep.
Sincerely,
Legion |
passioN
September 16th 2004, 12:31:38
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passioN
