PHQ-Nickname:
Legion
Halfquake:
The Asylum
Level:
10
Total kills:
60,346
Birthday:
June 22nd 1984
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| Mood: | optimistic |
| Type: | Diary entry |
| Added: | September 25th 2004, 09:07:17 |
| Visits: | 1267 |
| Series: | [ The life and times of Legion ] |
| Rating: | Not rated yet. |
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Description:
A bit of positivity...oh and Leigh trying to figure out my last ex-gf (aka Rikki's bf)...(STRANGE!)...and a strange truth... |
Hey there sports fans...
"I have some advice rom one girl/guy mood swing to another girl personality." Well, I gotta tell ya...its just been one of those days. Apparently my darling Leigh decided to find this old conversation between my darling ex and I...very surprised at the contents. Her only quote was...
"Both of you are completely insane!...But I still love you, hunny!" She knew what was wrong with me...but she was bent on trying to figure out why she was "a girl mood swing". I told her, mind her business and herself and it'd make a world of difference. In other words...don't even try to figure it out. The truth at the end about one in specific...
But, other than that...life is pretty damn good. I feel like I've finally found myself. I feel like I know who I am from the inside out. Sadly, none of the girlfriends really satisfy me emotionally...but I am startin' to think its my own damn fault heh...I dunno...I used to feel this urge to write poetry, set up beautiful romantic things, but...the most I do is say a few kind words and say some meaningful things...I'm not used to putting such little effort...The following has changed since my last relationship:
1. I don't get attached too much.
2. I don't call the girl everyday or expect to even talk to her everyday.
3. Leigh and I sometimes don't see each other for a week and I'm fine with that.
4. I let Leigh hang out with really anyone she chooses...regardless if they hate me or not, or if they seem shady.
5. I keep saying to myself..."If I love her...I'll trust her enough to make her own decisions."
6. I don't get angry over the little stuff...I just let it go.
7. I don't judge her on her past or what she's done with other guys/girls...etc...hell don't judge her...period...(infact she was making fun of fat people on tv and I said..."Do not judge unless ye be judged" she went silent from there...)
8. I take Leigh very seriously....but yet stay her friend and laugh every so often...
9. I actually for the first time DON'T want sex (often)...complicates things
10. When she needs to go home...I just take her home. No questions asked.
But the one thing I do differently which really makes me wonder...
When she says she feels a certain way...I respect it...I just let her tell me in time. I don't constantly plague Leigh till she tells me. (only if I know she wants to tell someone but is just trying to get someone to get it out of her)
I have not a clue if those 10...excuse me...11 things are actually good changes...but it seems appropriate...and just to be sure it wasn't just with her...I tested it on a girl who had a crush on me...and I felt the same way...
I'm still trying to figure out whether I've made a smart move by doing the above 11...cuz I'm really not used to doing the majority of it... but...the more laid back I am with her...the better things seem...hell I'm happy as all can be cuz of it...*sigh*...Its good to be alive!
Speaking of ex's...I figured out the truth about one of them...we've had arguement after argument...but..the truth is she was never quite sure about herself in the first place...but after many a year...she's getting the hang of it. I saw her at a club...we danced which we both dropped our mass hatred for each other at that moment...all those years of fighting...saying horrible things about each other...her trying to get me kicked out of school...me trying to ruin her reputation...hip to hip we decided at 17 you can be so immature about everything and think you know EVERYTHING...I sure as hell thought I did...but anyway, we kissed and made up, literally (girlfriend okay with it, in fact she insisted)...and we went our seperate ways. Kinda cool cuz I've been tracking down Shirl for years and...well...I found out...in a strange fucked up way...so was she. She figures there had to be a reason we kept ending up in each others presence. But...anyway...my mind is at peace...I feel like I've closed a chapter in a book and the weight is off my shoulders...and I know its lajit cuz I haven't had the urge once to even give her a call! (She gave me her cell number and home number, wanted to stay in touch...but I was weird about it...I told her..."All I wanted was to talk and just get a few things done with. No hard feelings right?" She smiled and said, "Yeah...Kevin probably wouldn't like me talking to you anyway." We laughed.
Well...still have one last person to speak with...other than that...I'm all smiles today! HORRAY FOR ME!
Sincerely,
Legion |
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