PHQ-Nickname:
Wolfsbane
Halfquake:
The Chamber
Level:
1
Total kills:
64
Birthday:
00th 0000
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| Pain...(Physical Mental Emotional) |
| Mood: | depressive |
| Type: | Diary entry |
| Added: | October 21st 2004, 03:12:55 |
| Visits: | 1331 |
| Series: | [ New Journals...heh ] |
| Rating: | Not rated yet. |
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Description:
Too much going on... |
I'm a bit worked up right now. Lots of pain, and I don't know which part is the worst. Probably the part which involves my boy. I know he's in an amount of pain that I don't understand, and I want to help, but I don't know how. I can't really do anything for him, so I'm just there to support him. I don't know how much that is helping him. I hope it's doing SOMETHING for him, but here's to hoping.
We've been on a really touchy subject in school. We've been talking about rape. I hate that topic. It's been causing so much stress on me, and I have a problem. I keep breaking down in the middle of class, and then I'm emotional for the rest of the day. I just...I keep thinking...about all of that pain. I don't know if anyone understands, what it feels like. I can understand now that it wasn't my fault, but the pain of what happened is still there. The memories are still there. How many times I said no, and it just HAD to happen, or when I was too young to understand. Just, the pain of what has happened. I'm not dwelling on it, but it's got to get out.
Right now, I'm hurting physically. I hate it. I know what it's from. It's an internal physical pain that I've been getting for about a year now. It started when I was with my ex, cuz of all the stress I was under, from him and school and everything else. And, well, there's been a lot of stress lately, so I'm hurting again. AND IT DOES HURT SO MUCH! It hurts to breathe, it hurts to move. I shant tell my boy yet, for I know he'll be so worried, and I'm the last person he needs to worry about. He has his own shit to deal with.
I'm really excited about a few things though. More stress, but still excited never the less. I'm going out this weekend, and I'm taking my boy with me. He deserves a bit of a break from his problems. Eh...so much all at once.
~Wolfsbane |
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