PHQ-Nickname:
hollow
Halfquake:
Radical Perfection
Level:
21
Total kills:
711,304
Birthday:
September 25th 1985
|
|
| Mood: | depressive |
| Type: | Story |
| Added: | May 31st 2005, 22:48:29 |
| Visits: | 1086 |
| Rating: | Not rated yet. |
|
| I tripped, so I was once broken and they tried to fix me. So they took me apart and they forgot to put me back together. I think some of the parts never got replaced and now all I can do when I want to love is bleed, which possibly means some valve somewhere is missing. What if we had faucet in our chests, and whenever we wanted to hurt each other, we could just turn the faucet for a little while instead, and that would be a better solution. Of course that missing valve might mean that if I had one I would just be leaking all the time instead of just when someone meant me to bleed, but isn ' t that just the way the road takes me. Drop the needle anywhere and it ' s the part where I ' m not having fun, the part where I hit the rocks, and don ' t exactly sink, but I ' m stuck with a hole in my boat so there ' s nowhere I can go, just watch people. And of course everywhere you drop the needle is a scratch and a screech, but the scratch isn ' t on the record. And all I wanted to know was how to make you smile, but you told him instead, so all I have seated at the table is one for dishes that serve two, but I don ' t even have the cookbook so I suppose I ' m lucky that way. |
LordAsriel
June 06th 2005, 06:38:57
|
Nice... and weird, too words that should never be appart from each other.
It's very well written, but it's shortness does leave an empty sensation. Try writing long stories, that's my piece of advice.
Looking forward to see something of yours.
See ya  |
nopacity
August 10th 2005, 21:04:57
|
Actually, I've saved this one on my pda because I wanted to take my time with it. Today, after completing that silly poem of mine it popped into my eyes again and I chose read it attentively. Now I take the freedom to say that it is most likely the best piece I ever read of you. I only wish you would have gone back to the initial topic at the end, closing the circle instead of switching over to a rant, but well one cant have everything I assume  |
| You need to login to add comments and ratings.
| |
LordAsriel
nopacity
