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Moonlight
Moonlight

Introduction
My texts (28)
My series (5)

PHQ-Nickname:
LordAsriel

Halfquake:
Garbage Fort

Level:
17

Total kills:
378,946

Birthday:
May 20th 1991

Ego

Mood:philosophic
Type:Diary entry
Added:July 29th 2005, 10:01:59
Visits:1450
Rating:4.5/5 (Votes: 2)

Description:
A "brief" intent of better understanding from me myself, which is selfish on itself.

Sorry for bothering you with my senseless doubts, but I had to take this out from me and you don't really need to read it anyway, so here it goes.

The point of the whole test is my personality, or basically any selfish behaviour. I feel I'm selfish. I try to do everything to avoid it, but it never changes. I'm honest, I'm peaceful, when I'm alone: when I think about things, when I talk to myself, even when I write like now; but when I'm in public, coexisting with others human beings, I feel oppressed by Society's requirements such as popularity, work (studies), sports, friends, and it ends transforming me in a machine acting as the Society wants me to act, with zero independance, zero creativity and zero capacity of choice. And this kind of behaviour is highly selfish, and when I'm alone again and I think about what I did during that period, I find that I acted horribly, and I feel sorry about that, but I can't imagine a way of improving my behaviour rather than trying and trying to think independently... can you?

TheAwake
August 01st 2005, 08:07:20
Think of this:
A) Are there certain people who trigger this kind of fake behaviour? If yes, you should consider leaving them behind. Thats what I did with some people. Basically, everyone is a nice person in some way, meaning that you dont have to stick to some of them just because of that reason. Compare wether they harm you more (though they maybe wouldnt want to if theyd understand your situation) than they help you or not.
B) It may hurt others but you need to be yourself. You need to force it. You should try giving a crap about social values and focus on your own ones. If you feel fine with it, its right. I actually noticed that creativity is not a requirement this societey has so its hard to use it when no one else requires it. But once one manages to, it surely makes one superior.
B)

LordAsriel
August 01st 2005, 16:20:20
Thanks for the thinkful comment, TheAwake, I'll try to do so... I'll do so.

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