PHQ-Nickname:
LordAsriel
Halfquake:
Garbage Fort
Level:
17
Total kills:
378,946
Birthday:
May 20th 1991
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| Mood: | awake |
| Type: | Diary entry |
| Added: | December 28th 2006, 11:43:55 |
| Visits: | 1487 |
| Rating: | 4/5 (Votes: 1) |
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Description:
I drank with some friends of mine the whole night last night. During this period, I ingested large doses of alcohol which were later countered with large doses of caffeine. I now wonder how much caffeine coffee liquor contains.
Anyway, I left that party about an hour ago (it's 6:45 a.m. as I start typing this down) and started walking home. The distance is about twenty-eight blocks, so it took me around forty minutes, perhaps. I live in what you'd call a suburban zone, so I could let my mind fly away and think about something without worrying about the traffic. My reflections were only briefly interrupted by the attack of some street dogs, but I managed to keep them at bay. |
 So I said goodbye to my friends and went outside. I inhaled deeply and started walking. Soon I realised I should be thinking of something, so I started to, well, think while talking to myself and gesturing with my hands. I decided I'd take the subject of beliefs. My state then, now calmed by cool water, was such that I thought of proving the existence of a superior order wrong.
How could I destroy all possibility of belief in a superior order? The idea came quickly to my mind; I should prove the existence of chaos. As my gestures became more exagerated and my reasonings louder I started thinking and simultaneously talking of infinitesimal particles. I started with electrons, but they seemed big enough so, in search of smaller particles whose names were beyond my knowledge or perhaps memory, I came up with the photon, which I believed to be the smallest particle I could and would remember. Now I know that there are more elementary particles, such as quarks and leptons, but this fact was obscure to me then.
I took the photon, then, and I proceeded to calculate the amount of possible variations it could be subjected to in the most infinitesimal instant. Ridiculous task, by the way, but it was my mind's playground time. I don't remember if I thought of some number particular. I know I multiplicated this by every single photon in the universe and then by every infinitesimal instant. Then all I remember is myself repeating the word billion again and again, culminating with a trillion. Then the dogs came.
They were guarding the block I was walking by. I say guarding because my first though is that of a mafia or other form of associated crime. For the moment all I could see was a dog sitting in the middle of the street. As I approached it a big dog from one of the houses (behind a high fence, fortunately) started barking at me. The one sitting stood up and barked at me as well. I just ignored them and walked right past both. Then two more came from the next block and started barking at me as well. They weren't so big, but they had some pretty nasty fangs and followed me from very close. For the first time I thought of danger. I took my backpack with my hands and swung it before them (or whatever the past for swing is), and yes, I had a backpack since the beginning. They seemed to move back, so I kept walking with my weapon ready to deffend myself or run. Fortunately, some barks and a block later they had left me alone.
I cursed them and tried to recover my original chain of thoughts. The word billion made the connection and after a short revision I replaced it by infinite. Thus there are infinite possibilities and infinite variables for universes to take place, and infinite in as much as four dimensions is a very big infinite. I still did not (nor do) understand the whole of alephs, much less whether it's related to this, but it sure sounded nice. One side of my mind said then that it was impossible for a superior order to be aware of infinite chaos. The other side quickly answered that a really omnipotent order made of no matter nor energy but of something beyond our understanding could very well do so, and that I had no evidence of the contrary.
In the end I proved nothing. All I was left with was a long list of fallacies, a slight hangover, and the urge for writing something. It's the day dreamer delirium, and definitely not to be confused with a scientific opinion. If you want, though, you could leave some explanations of obscure terms. I'll just go and lay dead for some hours.
The secrets of the hoary deep, a dark
Illimitable ocean without bound,
Without dimension, where length, breadth, and height
And time and place are lost; where eldest Night
And Chaos, Ancestors of Nature, hold
Eternal Anarchie, amidst the noise
Of endless Warrs, and by confusion stand.
For hot, cold, moist, and dry, four Champions fierce
Strive here for Maistrie, and to Battel bring
Their embryon Atoms…To whom these most adhere,
Hee rules a moment; Chaos Umpire sits,
And by decision move imbroiles to fray
By which he Reigns: next to him high Arbiter
Chance governs all. Into this wilde Abyss
The Womb of nature and perhaps her grave,
Of neither Sea, nor shore, nor Air, nor fire,
But all these in thir pregnant cause mixt
Confus'dly, and which thus must ever fight,
Unless the Almighty Maker them ordain
His dark materials to create more Worlds (2.891-916)
John Milton, Paradise Lost |
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